Sick Bloggin’…

A’yep.  I got it.  I honestly thought I was going to dodge it.  But I got it.  Plague has returned to Stewart Lane.  Not that it ever really left.

I had lofty plans yesterday to live-blog while I was sitting here loopy watching Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.  Perfect for a sick day, right?

Well I took notes and then never actually wrote it into a blog form.  

So what we’re going to do now is I’m going to include it all here, unedited and nonsensical.  If anyone wants me to go in and annotate it, I can do that next post.  If anything seems offensive or off-color, it was because I was crafting a joke and never put it into the correct wording.  

But anyway, here goes.   

 

being sick…  vocal fry…  ferris…  vaginal warming… bbl bf buster…  or bnl, bff, Guster….

 

wayne newton… ferris’s vest…. random black folk dancing….

 

ferris dresses like one of teh gays.  like christian in Clueless

 

pressed pleated suit pants, expensive italian shoes, a strange leopardish vest over a designer v-neck undershirt.  perfect hair and skin. designer boxers too.

 

jennifer grey – four layers, none cover her calves or forearms.

 

tshirt, under a dress shirt, (with people in 80’s clothes ON it) under capri pants with overall straps, under a melon colored top.  with patches

 

holy jesus that oblivion trailer with jack preacher.  what a bucket of shit.

 

cameron is everyman. hockey jersey and khakis.  the loafers are non HIGH SCHOOL tho

 

rooney really cares about the children. REALLY cares.

 

peeing sideways

 

is e-harmony a pimp?

 

charlie sheen as a druggie.  I think jennifer grey has girl scout patches on her sweater.  oh no, they are sports things.  one says tennis.  

 

They are in a chicago police station and everyone is white.  hmmmm.

 

Charlie Sheen is fucking awesome in this.

 

Cameron is a little rapey when he admits he saw Sloane changing into her strangely massively adult camisole

 

I applaud Cam for taking a stand, but stealing and destroying your asshole dad’s custom one of a kind ferrari is not the way.  Refuse to take out the recycling.  Let’s work up to the Ferrari.  Cuz that car was fucking boss.

 

“Thanks to Hotwire.com we got an extra trip this year. Because we hot-wired a car and stole that bitch like Cameron!”

 

Let’s talk about the Dodge Dart.

 

Let’s talk about the little snatch with the KFC Bites.  Why did someone buy her bites and didn’t buy themselves some?  I mean she didn’t buy her own?  She’s 14.

 

in RL after the ferrari out the window incident Cameron moves to LA and starts sucking dick on santa monical blvd.  no one finds him until a Showtime special about runaways.

 

or in RL, Morris comes home, finds out about the car, and beats Cameron to death.  Then has one of his henchmen bury Cam AND the car in the back woods there and one his shell corporations repairs the window and waxes the floor.  Then the car is reported stolen, Cameron missing, and everything is neat and tidy.  Just like a normal supervillian.

 

jeannie shawna.  creepy.

 

angies list sounds like a pimp.

 

furniture commercial guy gladiator fights.  NiRoPe, Raymore and Flanigan, Jordan, Bob…  FIGHT.  (insert Mortal Kombat music.)

 

bernie and phyl

 

pretty sure ferris’s dad is on meth.  or pcp. he notices NOTHING. E!  he’s on E!

 

joke john hugs missed – ferris should have launched pajama clad trampoline girl into the next yard.

 

ferris hits that receiver left handed.  well done son.

 So there we go.  That’s what goes through my head when I am feverish, hacking, and watching one of my favorite movies in the middle of the afternoon.

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