Gripe #1 – ScrewTube
I remember when I first found YouTube. It was this little video site that didn’t have a ton on it, and honestly I didn’t find it all that useful. Videos on the internet. Right. Man are they shitty quality. Fuck that.
Did I ever eat my hat. Soon it became an indispensable wild west of great video. TV Show clips that I hadn’t seen in forever. Music Videos from the heyday of MTV that were never in heavy rotation. The latest movie trailers – even before they’d been released…
It… was… awesome.
If I had a video I wanted to show a friend, within two seconds I’d have it up and playing on YouTube for them. It became, to me, as necessary to my daily Web Fu as google and wikipedia.
Flash forward to today.
YouTube sucks. There. I said it. The other day I wanted to find a South Park clip* to show a friend who has never watched the show. I wanted to show her how funny it as. What did I find? Twenty five hundred fan videos of kids singing to south park songs. Or audio with fan made slideshows. Or the occasional DMCA violation notice. I couldn’t show her. So you know what. There’s a potential fan that Viacom loses. Same goes for the Daily Show clip I was going to share. Same for the old clip from “Wait Til Your Father Gets Home.” I can’t find anything now w/o wading thru hours of shit. Thanks DMCA. Thanks asshole teens who think “Fred” and his helium antics are funny. Thanks to networks who can’t figure out that allowing us to watch their stuff legally is 100x better advertising than not.
Goodbye YouTube. You were wonderful while you lasted.
*I know I can get all the South Park stuff on South Park Studio’s web page, but for some reason their video player doesn’t work in my browser. It works if someone embeds it, but not if I go directly to the page. Plus I was already on YouTube failing to find other stuff.
Gripe #2: FacialBook
Facebook unleashed their new layout over the last day or so and yes I bitched briefly about it last night (I still haven’t found an easy place to put in a new status), but already there are torrents of people whining about it. “This sucks.” “New settings suck.” “Facebooks sucks.” Half of the statuses in my…. feed…. or whatever the fuck they’re calling it this week… are complaining about the changes. Clam up people.
While I question Facebook’s logic in a lot of their changes (Why the hell do I have to see applications other people are using while pushing “poke” down below the screen of my laptop) and applaud some others (YAY being able to “hide” certain pseudo friends whose daily minutiae I could care less about!!), I hope everyone remembers a few scant months ago when they did the exact same thing – changed the layout from the one we had grown so accustomed to. People whined. People moaned. People woe-is-me’ed. Myself included.
A few weeks later? We were a’pokin’ and a statusin’ and a’little-green-patchin’ away like nothing had ever changed. And the same thing will happen this time. Take a deep breath and get used to it.
Until four months down the line where instead of just changing some of the simple stupid things that bug us all, they massively redesign the whole page again. And allow us to add in our own backgrounds. And autoplay music. And giant movie ads. Viva la FaceSpace.
Gripe #3: Emo Elvis
You know who I mean – that no-one-really-wears-their-hair-like-that “young” dude from American Idol this season, who in high def looks about 30 after a pack a day generic cigarette habit, but dresses all gothy and growls at the camera like a junkyard dog with a meth addiction. The cougars are creaming for him in his eyeliner and his macho swagger. The judges are creaming for him in his My Chemical Tight Pants. He needs to comb his hair, stop scowling, take off all that fucking foundation, and just fucking sing.
Oh let me rephrase that. Sing WELL. I’ve had beer farts that had more tune than that version of “Black and White” on Tuesday.
There. I said it.